I know, my dear, you are trying to get up. Why didn't you dare to meet? This guy is not a nerd, do you know that? He is as bold speaking as he is writing. I thought you were a Carbon girl, nuts like me and in a Blazer, that we could deal in diamonds and start a partnership. If you were not, you knew I had enough Credit to invest in you, because to a real man it's not really important if she is rich already, only if she is ambitious. Did you do like the rest, shared my message instead of trying to be my friend and answer me?
You know, this is new to me, even I had never seen anything like this before. But I believed all of us three were equally loved, and if I wasn't allowed to be kind to and support my sister, I'd rather lose you. But I don't think that's the case, that you misunderstood me. I made myself clear I wasn't into polygamous "relationships", and you knew well how I hated promiscuity. So if you were testing the "chemistry" between you and someone else, you were still choosing "success" and would soon fail the big test and your indulgence be punished.
How would you be with me without hating the stupid's place, the idea that being surrounded by "things" can replace the Thing that lacks in you? I see hell when I look at those pictures of girls on boats, with a full cup in their hands and a fake smile on their faces, not paradise. That is so the other Cathy, it makes me puke. I believed you worked to keep yourself unspotted from that, but simplicity without Wisdom can't keep anyone really distant from that spirit. The humility in a child is good, but if he hesitates to go to Jesus, he's already going a different way, of pride for him "self" and shame for Him.
I'm a real rebel, I do the opposite of what I see fools doing. I don't need "friends", I don't need them answering me, so I'm free to keep loving Her and expressing myself. Because my connection with Truth has changed my perception of myself in a way "fame" could never do; I needed only one experience of Transcendence that showed me who I was in Him to say, "No way I'm ever going back to that vain lying existence". I didn't know I could look inwards and find myself so beautiful; I may have qualities, but it was Wisdom who did the trick.
What can I say? You wanted and made me love you as a woman, but you were unable to be a friend and a sister; you had the heart of a child, but all this time you remained uncertain if you wanted to grow or not. It was all like an act where I embraced you and you enjoyed watching how high I could take you. Of Course, professionally or otherwise, that's an impossible partnership without you deciding to work to get Her and hold Her tight. And you knew exactly when my own uncertainty on whether I was supposed to take your "theft" seriously ended.
You must have done something terribly wrong. I don't think you have no clue, you must know exactly why the Plan changed; it must have been something the Wind considered really disrespectful. Maybe you called home the place where people "dream", and was content with being there with someone who "loves" you, instead of coming to the other Side where there was Grace, Justice and so much More than what you can find in it. My Message and me were ignored, you didn't stop and waited for the Greyhound with its "ambition" to crash. Just maybe.
Like I said, I observe what fools say and do. And they reversely inspire me to keep succeeding daily towards a Tomorrow that's not predictable; in the many lies and in the much vanity they seek I see the "reason" why they are ashamed. They just can't think anything that matters, except to other fools. What were you waiting from me to at least talk to me? What could be more than my ice cream parlour tricks? What have you ever done that was a greater achievement than your own trick? You were waiting for the actress to perform hers to feel sorry for not even trying to say anything.
What have you finally realized? That there was a Game to be played and a Fight to be fought? Not against her. Who was your adversary? Yeah, it seems the other dad knew exactly how to make you let me go. But don't worry, four years later I was already gone. You actually failed to come with me.
I love you.
